…ASSEMBLING DISTORTED INSPIRATIONS FROM THE PAST THAT MADE MY STORY…

10:03 AM, 1st January, 2009

Every year , on this day, life looks like another opportunity to me. The day to plan and the day to retrospect. The day to pay tributes, and also the day to admit. As I asked some of my friends today morning… How would you remember 2008 ??. “Pathetic”, “Extreme Joys and Extreme Sorrows”, “Year of first Abroad trip”.”Most special year, because I found you”. Individual experiences and individual responses. But on a serious note, how would I remember 2008 ??

Moving to the past, the earlier part of this year didn’t have anything relevant in life. Four words had my entire life displayed… SWIFT,OCEAN, JAAN,MONA… and of course MONEY.Until May, I was so much consumed with my primary and secondary work that I was actually not experiencing anything like leisure, social life, responsibility at home. Only fluid inside me was of passion and money.Because life then had an entire different picture of future. During those times, money made all the decisions. Oh.. how can I forget how good it feels to be famous.

The good times and bad times of the year was marked by my Malaysia Tour. Friends, Partners, Penang, Pathman.. and many more to recollect. It reavealed what ‘global’ means. And for some of my friends, it was also the biggest achievement of their whole life. Though I would silently differ by saying that ‘Dream Chaser’ was equally experiencing.

After the tour, back in our homeland.. it was understood that there had been a wrong move by someone somewhere.  Because the impact of the whole trip was exactly opposite to what was perceived. While I treated it as a ladder to get more famous, I ended up being infamous.Reasons behind these were official misconduct, and on a personal level I was wondering how to pay the bills.

The later part of the year was a very difficult time. It was difficult because it was the tiring. I was tired of being tested and I gave up. It was rewarding becuase there were a lot of experiences.Experiences that made understandings differ. Experiences that disturbed relationships, and the peace of mind. Oh.. how can I forget how painful it feels to be famous. I, like others got myself more aligned to our job life, cherising the pleasure of fighting for survival, undergoing extremes of emotions every call every night, measuring the degree to which helplessness had affected us and occasionally wondering if I was on the wrong boat, or every ride involved such adventures.

Towards the end of September, professional life was somehow taking shape.Suddenly the job was becoming more satisfying and phone calls used to bother less. Suddenly my energy was directed towards efficient budgeting, than higher earning.Suddenly some very important people lost their importance.Suddenly I got many hints that I am running away from things.Yesterday the year completed but the challenges heaven’t.

And the only answer I seek while I step into 2009 is, what stopped me from bouncing back ??

I just wish 2009 gives me enough memories to write about, on a day like today after a year.And to you too.

Have  a great year ahead.

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